Toyata vs. General Motors

[wt2ga]

A Japanese company (Toyata) and an American company (General Motors) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese team won by a mile. The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.

So American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the American's rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program," with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower.

There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices, and bonuses.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was outsourced to India.


To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the American's rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program," with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower.

There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices, and bonuses.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was outsourced to India.

[CountryGirl]

Ha!

Now can someone creative do a story about an Americna team vs a French team? We could win that one!

[SkyBaby]

hmmmm..... good one.... but, i just found out there is a ....HONDA engine in my hubbys GOLD SERIES VUE.... what is that?... SkyBaby

[roadsterrage]

Originally Posted by shenvalley

Ha!

Now can someone creative do a story about an Americna team vs a French team? We could win that one!

French Army Rifle for sale: Never Fired, dropped once

[SkyBaby]

Hmmmm...... by the looks of this pile, i think they ran away... WE WON... WE WON... sorry, i have no idea what i am talking about.. just a nice pile of weapons..SkyBaby

[wt2ga]

Originally Posted by shenvalley

Ha!

Now can someone creative do a story about an Americna team vs a French team? We could win that one!

An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"

American (in a bad mood): "Of course."

Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.

The American listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

American: "Of Course."

Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling)."We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the states."

After a moment of silence,

The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum and sell them to France

[wt2ga]

Originally Posted by SkyBaby

hmmmm..... good one.... but, i just found out there is a ....HONDA engine in my hubbys GOLD SERIES VUE.... what is that?... SkyBaby

Honda traded GM the motors for the right to use "OnStar" in their cars...

[Skip]

Originally Posted by wt2ga

An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"

American (in a bad mood): "Of course."

Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.

The American listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

American: "Of Course."

Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling)."We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the states."

After a moment of silence,

The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum and sell them to France

Bill you have done it again..I even had a smile on my face this morning...Skip...

[manguido]

Thanks, Bill. I forwarded your tale of woe to a friend of mine at AC Delco (or is it GM Parts? - the lines are blurry these days). He will CERTAINLY get a kick out of it.

GUIDO

[wt2ga]

Originally Posted by Skip

I even had a smile on my face this morning...Skip...

. .

[CountryGirl]

I knew somebody could do it! Thanks Bill.

[2Kool4Skool]

Just one question, whats a Toyata?

[wt2ga]

Originally Posted by 2Kool4Skool

Just one question, whats a Toyata?

... For you " New Folks "...

..Click Here.... to see what a ToYoda is ...