Todays gem!

[LeloSKYLANM]

How Long Do We Have?

About the time our original
thirteen states adopted their new constitution in
1787, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor
at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say
about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000
years earlier:

'A democracy is always temporary
in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent
form of government.'

'A democracy will continue to
exist up until the time that voters discover they
can vote themselves generous gifts from the public
treasury.'

'From that moment on, the majority
always vote for the man who promises the most
benefits from the public treasury, with the result
that every democracy will finally collapse due to
loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a
dictatorship.'

'The average age of the world's
greatest civilizations from the beginning of history
has been about 200 years'

'During those 200 years, those
nations always progressed through the following
sequence:

1. From bondage to spiritual faith;

2. From spiritual faith to great courage;

3. From courage to liberty;

4. From liberty to abundance;

5. From abundance to complacency;

6. From complacency to apathy;

7. From apathy to dependence;

8. From dependence back into bondage'

Professor Joseph Olson of Hemline
University School of Law, St. Paul, Minnesota,
points out some interesting facts concerning the
2000 Presidential election:

Number of States won by:

Gore: 19

Bush: 29

Square miles of land won by:

Gore: 580,000

Bush: 2,427,000

Population of counties won by:

Gore: 127 million

Bush: 143 million

Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by:

Gore: 13.2

Bush: 2.1



Professor Olson adds: 'In
aggregate, the map of the territory Bush won was
mostly the land owned by the taxpaying citizens of
this great country.

Gore's territory mostly
encompassed those citizens living in
government-owned tenements and living off various
forms of government welfare...' Olson believes the
United States is now somewhere between the
complacency and apathy' phase of Professor Tyler's
definition of democracy, with some forty percent of
the nation's population already having reached the
'governmental dependency' phase.

If Congress grants amnesty and
citizenship to twelve/fifteen million criminal invaders
called illegals and they vote, then we can say
goodbye to the USA in perhaps fewer than five years.

If you are in favor of this then delete this message if you are not then Pass this
along to help everyone realize just how much is at
stake, knowing that apathy is the greatest danger to our freedom.

Thanks for reading.

[SKYtime]

More phony internet info....

snopes.com: The Fall of the Athenian Republic

[LeloSKYLANM]

For all of you in education, with sons, grandsons, or who just love the things little kids say...
a reminder that adult words are often taken literally.....

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.

She went back to find out what was going on.

He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.

He did and returned to his class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.

She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his 'private part' hanging out.

'I thought I told you to call your mom!' she said.

'I did,' he said, 'And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school.'

[LeloSKYLANM]

Originally Posted by SKYtime

More phony internet info....

snopes.com: The Fall of the Athenian Republic

I guess you can find any slant you want if you look long and hard enough.
Snoops has been accused of twisting the facts also.

[LeloSKYLANM]

It's the core thinking....

I'm reminded of the time that Catherine - a little girl in our
neighborhood - told me that she wanted to be President one day.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there with us -
and I asked Catherine - 'If you were President what would be the first
thing you would do?'

Catherine replied - 'I would give houses to all the homeless people.'

'Wow - what a worthy goal you have there Catherine.' I told her
(while both parents beamed), 'But, you don't have to wait until you're
President to do that. You can come over to my house and clean up all
the dog poop in the back yard and I will pay you $5 dollars. Then we can
go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you
can give him the $5 dollars to use for a new house.'

Catherine (who was about 4) thought that over for a second, and then
replied, 'why doesn't the homeless guy come over and clean up the dog
poop himself, and you can pay him the $5 dollars.'

Welcome to the Republican Party Catherine.....

[SKYtime]

Originally Posted by LeloSKYLANM

I guess you can find any slant you want if you look long and hard enough.
Snoops has been accused of twisting the facts also.

Oh please. You aren't actually trying to say that the drivel you originally posted was remotely factually correct, are you?

[LeloSKYLANM]

No, I just just like to "SPAM" my own thread.
Plus, it does cause others to think and weigh in.

[LeloSKYLANM]

snopes.com: ABC News Bans Flag Lapel Pins

[USA Sky]

Now that was funny! I passed it on to my wife so she could use it some day.....

[SKY 07]

When Cardboard Men Come In Handy

A car gets a flat on the interstate one day. The blonde driver
eases it over onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of the
car and opens the trunk. She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them
and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.

The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their
nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly,
the traffic becomes snarled and backed up.

It isn't very long before a police car arrives. The officer,
clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling,
'What's going on here?'

'My car broke down, officer' says the woman calmly.

'Well, what the heck are these obscene cardboard pictures doing
here by the road?' he asks.

'Helllooooooo!!!!' says the blonde

'Those are my emergency flashers

[LeloSKYLANM]

A cowboy and his wife had just got married and found a nice
hotel for
their wedding night.

The man approached the front desk and asked for a room.
He said, "We're on our honeymoon and we need a nice room with a
good
strong bed."

The clerk winked, "You want the 'Bridal'?"

The cowboy reflected on this for a moment and then replied,
"Nope, I reckon not. I'll just hold onto her ears until she gets
used to it.

[Texas Red Line]

Originally Posted by LeloSKYLANM

A cowboy and his wife had just got married and found a nice
hotel for
their wedding night.

The man approached the front desk and asked for a room.
He said, "We're on our honeymoon and we need a nice room with a
good
strong bed."

The clerk winked, "You want the 'Bridal'?"

The cowboy reflected on this for a moment and then replied,
"Nope, I reckon not. I'll just hold onto her ears until she gets
used to it.

Good one

[IslandHopper]

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through a canyon when they see a tribe of Native Americans coming toward them. "They don't look friendly, Tonto," says the Lone Ranger. Those are Apaches," says Tonto "Angry over the treatment by soldiers. They are out for blood. They turn around only to see another tribe coming at them from the south. "They don't look happy either, says the Lone Ranger. Those are Sioux," says Tonto, "Angry over treatment by settlers. They, too are out for blood. They start riding west and see another tribe. the Lone Ranger says, "Who are they? These are Cherokee says Tonto and they are angry about forced settlement on reservations. They also are out for blood. They turn around and ride east and see one more tribe coming at them. They are effectively boxed in. Tonto explains, "These are collected war councils, they are angry about everything! Realizing they don't have a chance of getting out of their predicament alive, the Lone Ranger says to Tonto, "Well, at least I'll go down with my trusted friend at my side." Tontto says, "Are you talking to me, white man?"

[jwolfpack02]

Right Next to the Vagel and Cream Cheese

Little girl: Mommy! Mommy! I can see...
MILF, rummaging in beach bag: Calm down, sweetie. Take a deep breath and tell me exactly what you see.
Little girl: I can see... your... bagina.

--Penscola Beach, Florida

Overheard at the Beach | The Voice of the Towel

[LeloSKYLANM]

The OPEC minister may look you in the eye and say, "We are at war with you infidels and have been since the embargo in the 1970s. You are so arrogant you haven't even recognized it. You have more missiles, bombs, and technology; so we are fighting with the best weapon we have and extracting on a net basis about $700 billion/year out of your economy. We will destroy you! Death to the infidels!

While I am here I would like to thank you for the following:

Not developing your 250-300 year supply of oil shale and tar sands. we know if you did this, it would create thousands of jobs for U.S. citizens, expand your engineering capabilities, and keep the wealth in the U.S. instead of sending it to us to finance our war against you infidels.

Thanks for limiting Defense Department purchases of oil sands from your neighbors to the north. We love it when you confuse your allies.

Thanks for over regulating every segment of your economy and thus delaying, by decades, the development of alternate fuel technologies.

Thanks for limiting drilling off your coasts, in Alaska, and anywhere there is an insect, bird, fish, or plant that might be inconvenienced. Better that your people suffer. Glad to see our lobbying efforts have been so effective.

Corn based Ethanol. Praise Allah for this sham program! Perhaps you will destroy yourself from the inside with theses types of policies. This is a gift from Allah, praise his name! We never would have thought of this one! This is better than when you pay your farmers NOT TO GROW FOOD. Have them use more energy to create less energy, and simultaneously drive up food prices. Thank you U.S. Congress!

And finally, we appreciate you letting us fleece you without end. You will be glad to know we have been accumulating shares in your banks, real estate, and publicly held companies. We also finance a good portion of your debt and now manipulate your markets, currency, and economies for our benefit.

THANK YOU AMERICA!'The Arabs Say THANK YOU!

[LeloSKYLANM]

KENTUCKY GHOST STORY


This happened about a month ago just outside of Owensboro, Kentucky, a small town on the banks of the Ohio River, and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's indeed real.

An out-of-state traveler was walking along the side of the road hitchhiking on a dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could barley see his hand in front of his face.

Suddenly he saw a car approaching, moving slowly and appearing ghostlike in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped

Wanting a ride very badly, the guy jumped into the car and closed the door; only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of the engine to be heard over the rain.

Again the car crept slowly forward the guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray and beg for his life. He was certain the ghost car would go off the road and

into the river, and he would surely drown! But just before the curve, a shadowy figure appeared at the driver's window and a hand reached in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the window and the hitchhiker was alone again.

Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally the guy, frightened nearly to death, had all he could take and jumped out of the car and ran through the storm to the nearby town.

Wet and in shock, he went into a lighted tavern and with voice quavering,

ordered two shots of whiskey, and then, shaken, he told everybody about his supernatural experience.

A silence came over those listening and everybody got goose bumps. They

realized the guy was sober and was telling the truth. And the sounds of the storm continued outside.

About half an hour later, two guys walked into the bar and one says to the other, 'Look Billy Bob, there's that idiot that rode in our car while we was pushin' it in the rain.'

[LeloSKYLANM]

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES

* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .

* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

* A woman has the last word in any argument.

* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

[SKY 07]

To our friends who enjoy a glass of wine... and those who don't.

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in fesces.

In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health .

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of ****.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:

I'm doing it as a public service.

[Texas Red Line]

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esth