Todays gem!

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Watch the little boy beside Ernie in the video!

Priceless

This is hilarious!!



MOST OF THE YOUNGER GENERATIONS DO NOT HAVE A CLUE TO
WHO TENNESSEE ERNIE FORD WAS. BUT WE DO, Right??

Watch the little boy beside Ernie. . . and watch to the very end!

It's sure to bring a smile to your face. If that doesn't, watch Ernie !
Most of us have forgotten what a wonderful voice he had.


http://md42.quartz.synacor.com/servi...d=24254&part=2

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U.S. Bridges, Roads Being Built by Chinese Firms - YouTube

U.S. Bridges, Roads Being Built by Chinese Firms - YouTube

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Chuck Woolery on Budget Cuts - YouTube

Chuck Woolery on Budget Cuts - YouTube

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DEAR ABBY:
'I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?'

Herman in Georgia



DEAR HERMAN:

'Register as a Republican, and run for public office.'

Abby

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Milk and eggs


This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:


A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."


A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.


The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"


He replied, "They had eggs."


(I'm sure you're going back to read this again!)

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http://md42.quartz.synacor.com/servi...d=25831&part=2

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Four old-timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round.



His buddies all chimed in and said, "Let's do it, we'll make it a priority, figure out a way and meet here early Christmas morning."



Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the golf course.



The first guy says, "Boy this game cost me a fortune! I bought my wife such a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off it."



Number 2 guy says, "I spent a ton, too. My wife is at home planning the Cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures."



Number 3 guy says "Well my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual."



They all turned to the last guy in the group who is staring at them like they have lost their minds.



I can't believe you all went to such expense for this golf game. I slapped my wife on the butt and said, 'Well babe, Merry Christmas! It's a great morning for either sex or golf,' and she said... 'Take a sweater, it may be chilly out there.

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This is a hoot, but I suspect the minister didn't appreciate it.

A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had
all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he
Said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world,
I'd take it and pour it into the river."

Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced
With a smile, nearly laughing, "For our closing song,
Let us sing Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'"

See you at the river!

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STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM
I would have given him 100%

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
* No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in
other hand, what would you have ?
* Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

[LeloSKYLANM]

Scotch?





For Christmas, the children brought gifts for their

teacher.



The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of

assorted fruit.



The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.



The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.



Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box.. The

teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit.. She

touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.



"Is it wine?" she guessed. "No," the boy replied. She tasted another

drop and asked, " Champagne ?. "No," said the little

boy.............."It's a puppy!"

[LeloSKYLANM]

Ole is a farmer in Minnesota . He is in need of a new milk cow and hears
about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota (that would be North Dakota
for you non-Scandahoovians out there).

He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow.

He reaches under to see if the cow gives milk.

When he grabs a teat and pulls....the cow farts.

Surprised, Ole looks at the farmer who's selling the cow, then reaches
under to try again.

He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again.

Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's
current owner, Ole decides to buy the cow.

When he gets back to Minnesota , he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and
says, 'Hey, Sven, come and look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her
teat, and see vat happens.'

Sven reaches under, pulls the teat...the cow farts.

Sven looks at Ole and says, "You bought dis here cow over in Nordakota,
didn't yah?'

Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip.

Ole replies, 'Yah, dats right. But how did yah know?'

Sven says, 'My wife is from Nordakota.'

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Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the

door to her Bedroom.


From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two.

Quietly, she reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting

the blanket as hard as she can.





Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.



"Hi Darling", he says, "Your parents have come to visit us, so l

let them stay in our bedroom. Hope you said Hello to them."

[Caulairdis]

Now there is a well thought out plan to rid oneself of inlaws

Q: What's the difference between inlaws and outlaws?

A: Outlaws are wanted

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Biertijd.com // Media » Bugatti Veyron Super Sport Amazing 431km/h

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