Twas the nite before Christmas

[Skip]

Twas the nite before Christmas and all through the shack. Not a creature was stirring except for my rat. This rat named Harvey was very fast. He had outwitted the girls in the past. This Christmas eve he looked a fright. He had come to the shack for the nite. He looked around and what did he see. But little pizzas under the Chistmas tree. They were there by Fartblossom's wish to eat pizza from her new dog dish. Ol Hound and TwoTeeth being fast asleep,To the pizza Harvey did retreat. Noiselessly ol Harvey ate, for deep dish pizza it was great. But then Harvey really started for eating pizza he had farted. It woke the girls and there was such a clatter, I turned on the light to see what was the matter. The girls were running all over the place trying to catch Harvey with pizza on his face. Ol Hound almost had the rat in her mouth and then everything went south. The tree with ornaments and lights galore was tossed and turned all over the floor. On Fartblossom, on Hound, on TwoTeeth I did yell and then a tear did well in my eye you see for my girls had done all this for me. Ol Harvey had been around a long, long time outwitting the girls by far, opps there went the Christmas star. Out on the porch they did go Almost caught him in the snow. Harvey made it to his hole and in from the nite the girls did go. As everything lay on the floor, I did not want to do anymore. For Christmas was here, I went to the fridge and popped a beer. Fartblossom ,Hound , and TwoTeeth did eat for the pizza was their treat. I settled down in my easy chair and wish everybody CHRISTMAS cheer....Skip....

[1994SC2]

Very lovely.

(I think we both need to get some sleep)

[wt2ga]

Harvey

[Skip]

Hey how did you get a picture of Harvey?...Skip..Except Harvey eventually got caught in a trap...

[wt2ga]

Me Too

[Skip]

Today I did meet the creature that is stirring in the house over these holidays. I named him Barney because he is as big as that dang purple dino on TV. Yep went into the laundry room to do some clothes washing, and right there he was trying to get his washing done first. He did not ask to use it and he had not asked to use my soap. I was a little pissed but looking at the size of him I was not going to argue the point. I backed off because you see I am a nice person. I know my limits and therefore I went to the store instead of washing my laundry. Yep got that huge -ass Christmas Ham and all the trimmings like potatoes and greenbeans. Going to make a pie for the youngins. Well dang the grocery store did not have the size I needed so on the way home I went to LOWES and bought what I needed. Took it all home and put it all away. Then I got out the Skippy peanut butter, come on, I like things that are named after me, plus it smells so good when spread. Got my gouda cheese, it smells good too and has a good flaver when eaten on crackers with a little wine...So I spread this peanut butter out nice and thick. I took a slice of cheese and pushed into the peanut butter. The smell was overwhelming and I had a slice myself of the cheese. I took my hardware store item with the pb and cheese and set the little trip wire. I put it in the laundry room , and departed. I hoped before the night was out my Barney would partake of this wonderous food that I had special made with my own loving hands just for him. Then I turned off all the lights and went to the back of the house to get on the puter and my favorite forum . Yessirree bob I have been reading and posting for at least 2 hours. It is so quiet here that I can hear my own breathing and the click of the key pad as I bang out this little essay to my forum family. Oh, a noise from the laundry room and what noise did I hear? It sure as dang sure tant no DANG reindeer. It snapped and I heard a thrashing, I did not throw open the sash because dang it is cold outside and besides it was in the wash room. I gingerly crept, as big as I am it was more like walked, into the other side of my happy home. Turned on the lights and what did I see but a head rolling in front of me. Poor Barney, he done got hungry for my world famous pb and cheese. He partook of my gracious offer of a good snack. You know like the kind you want when you get that urge to feast. Yes Santa, I have been a naughty boy for I have inticed a minor, he was younger than me, into a trap. The trap was sprung by the washing machine so fair and all I got for Christmas was a mess to clean up. Well tomorrow is a good day to try out some EDAM cheese with SKIPPY peanut butter. Maybe a little thimble size container of wine to wash down the cheese? The next one is going to be named after a female. There has been Harvey, Mary, Issac, and now Barney. His resting place will be the city dump and loo and behold the trash goes out tomorrow. Lucky me, I don't have to smell the unwashed body of Barney. It smelled just like a rat...No I don't eat rats that I kill...Skip...

[JohnD]

call you now "Bwana" mean great white hunter