WVSooner & Artsy Sky

[WVSooner]

For those that have been wondering where we disappeared to, we've run into a bit of situation. We've decided to separate. It's not one person's fault or the other, both of us have contributed to the problems. But we are remaining cordial and trying to resolve things. In the meantime, she and the kids are moving to Missouri and I will stay in West Virginia. So we are both time deprived, stress overwhelmed, and so on. Hence, the reason we haven't been around for a while.

Of course, the most important piece of information for the members of this board is, yes, we are both keeping our Skys. Best regards to all from both of us.

[flyingz]

Sorry to hear it, hope all works out for the best all around good

[Ruthie]

Oh wow - really sorry to hear this news. Hope everything works out well for both of you. Sorry to hear they are moving away from you - that's probably the hardest part. Sending good thoughts your way...



ps - saw a green sky w/ tan top on Oakwood the other day - maybe we have someone new in the area

[WVSooner]

I keep seeing a black one headed toward town on the Corridor everytime I am headed to Target. Is that you?

[Ruthie]

Probably - my office is in the Star Credit Union building on Cantley. I either head into town or Kan City when I leave here.

Keep seeing a brazen Solstice in Kan City - think it might be someone that works at McCormick Jewelers.

[TulsaSky]

Sorry to hear about your situation, you two seemed like a happy couple when we met last year
Times like this you want the valentine cupid to fire an arrow in both your backsides to bring you back to your senses, but us humans just have to deal with our own reality.
I have concluded from my own life path that being widowed is a heck of a lot easier then getting separated or divorced, but being unhappy in a bad marriage has it own stress and toll on a person. I guess it all comes down to those wedding vows, do you both take it to heart too really understand the finality of it all, death do us part, better or worse? Maybe we need a comment section for worse, just how bad is worse? Using my toothbrush bad enough of a worse to pack up and leave?
Keep all of us Sky crowd posted and your right at least you both love your Sky's


TulsaSky

[Celt03]

wow - so very sorry to hear this.
But glad to hear that you guys are being cordial - that is something that rarely seems to happen.
That is so much less stress on everyone involved - especially the children.

I'll keep all of you in my thoughts & prayers.

[ChiliSky]

Let me say from experience, sometimes you need to step back, take a break and look at everything. Begin with why you married one another.....what you still like/ love about the other person....

Makes me sad, hopefully things will work out for both of you.

[SkyBaby]

I am thinking of you both.... chat soon! SkyBaby

[reedred]

I never know what to say to something like this, but here goes:

I'm very sorry to read this, but if it's what you two think is best then it should happen. I'm glad things are amicable so far, and I hope they can stay that way. My parents' divorce was very tame and I know my sister and I remain very thankful for that to this day. You'll all be in my thoughts, and I wish you both well.

For the record, I doubt anyone around here is primarily concerned with your keeping your Skys, but I'm glad you'll each have one to enjoy during this stressful time.

[ihawk95]

Wow! Am I sorry to read this! From reading the posts you 2 had back and forth with each other I'm really surprised. But from my own experience, sometimes people hide things things well.

Anyway, I'm with Chilisky...sometimes you need to take a step back. This will work out as it is meant to be. And if in the end the separation becomes permanent, then I do hope you both remain on good terms. Sometimes I am questioned as to why I still speak to my ex. I guess because I understand the situation wasn't easy for him either. We parted on as good as terms as possible. We even had lunch together right after we left the courthouse when we got divorced. But it was hard. I'm watching a coworker (and friend) go through what is going to be a very brutal divorce. Especially brutal when considering it's a small town of 1000 people where everyone talks. It's hard on their 2 young boys, it's hard on my friend (she almost lost it this morning)...all just to direct a personal issue/problem onto someone else. It's not worth it. It's a tough enough situation without making it worse.

I'll be thinking of you both.

[WVSooner]

FWIW - this situation is actually doubly difficult for me. Due to some very unfortunate medical issues for Dawn - we were never able to have children together. For those of you who are thinking, "wait, he talks about his kids a lot," the vast majority of people don't know, but I am not their birth father (they are from Dawn's prior marriage). I have raised them since they were 3 and 5, they are now 15 (in two days) and 16 - vacations, homework, sickness, soccer, etc., I did all that with them. And if I could have gone to the "kid store" and picked out kids - these are the two I would have chosen - my son is like the sequel of me, while my daughter is a totally new experience.

Anyway, because I am not their birth father (who is also still part of their lives) I will have no legal right to see them. And chances are with the amount of family they have in Missouri, school, soccer, etc., I will see them very rarely, if ever. And that breaks my heart as much as anything. This whole mess has nothing to do with the kids and I will always love "my" kids.

iHawk - this has kind of come as a shock to us as well. Valentine's Day was a very very good day. Things have deteriorated that quickly for a variety of reasons. And yes, it is truly unfortunate, because we both still love each other, we just can't handle being together right now. Hopefully, it will all work out in the end.

[dengel]

I am so sorry to hear that this is happening. I hope it all works out for the best for everyone involved.

Having gone through a similar, although less difficult situation (there were no children involved), I can sympathize with how stressful life can become during even the most amicable split. I know that the "pursuit" of my Solstice came at just the right time for me (saving for and ordering my Solstice gave me a goal and a focus outside of what was going on in my life at the time), and I'm glad you are both keeping your Sky's, as having an escape of that kind can be a true lifesaver in difficult emotional times.

I will offer two pieces of advice.

1 - If you have not already done so, seek the help of a good counselor. If you and Artsy Sky can do this together then that would be great. Even though my ex and I ultimately got divorced, the couseling we went to together gave me the satisfaction of knowing that I tried my best to make it work, and then helped me come to terms with why it was best that we finally divorce anyway. If you can't go together as a couple, I still urge you both to go separately, to help work through all the emotional turmoil you're going through at this time.

2 - WVSooner, regarding the children, I know it is tough to realize that you have no legal rights to enforce regarding visitation or custody, but remember that you love these children and they love you. Nothing can take away the bond you share, and it sounds like they are old enough to pursue opportunities to stay in touch if that is what they want. Remember that in this digital age, there is no need to be physically close to still play an active role in their lives. That's how you found this great Sky family after all, right?

My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

[sworthit]

Sometimes the right thing to do is not always the easy thing to do.
At least you guys are civil and hopefully will remain so ... in my case, i was not so fortunate to be dealing with a reasonable person. Above all, you've got to do what is best for your kids (and at the same time take care of yourself)--even in the most difficult of circumstances, you have to let them know you are there for them unconditionally. Never miss an opportunity to tell them you love them (even though they know it). Know how much your heart aches, but you've got friends here to lend an ear/shoulder whenever you need it. Best to you...

[WVSooner]

On behalf of both of us, to everyone, thanks for all the kind words, support, and prayers. (I would be surprised if she visits the forum anymore - it's too much "my" thing).

Diane - yeah, we went to counseling together and continue to go individually.

[coopcj7]

Man I am sorry to hear this. I know what you are going through to an extent. Heres wishing you the best through this difficult time You ever need anything let me know I am only 90 minutes away. I will help you with what ever I am capable of.