The Ups and Downs of the Forum Dynamic

[RMFNSKY]

It's just a Message Board

[KappaMan]

I'll take this opportunity to say this (since I've gotten a handful of "please delete my account" requests). It creates too much of a mess in the database when a person's account is deleted, and the intense crosslinking that goes on in old posts really messes with the posting/thread database and how the posts appear.

If you want to leave, simple. My advice: take 48 hours off. DON'T look at the forum. DON'T think about the forum - just don't log on for at least 48 hours.


Then, if after that you are STILL upset, take 7 days off... DON'T look at the forum, don't log on the forum, and don't think about the forum.


If you're STILL ticked off at the end of 9 days, simply don't log on for a month.... pretty soon, you'll forget there's a forum here.



This place is kinda like a big corporation, or a big tub of water. You get a job at a big corporation, you may even have a really big position there. It's like sticking your hand in a tub of water - you displace it for a while. You can splash your hand around, create a heckuva ruckus, and all kinds of waves. Other people are creating they own waves too...

...but guess what - when you remove YOUR hand from that tub of water - even if you announce you're going to do it, and you make even more waves before you do...

...the tub of water will STILL be there, and it will STILL have water in it, and the hole you made will be gone. Even when your hand dries - and you walk away, that displacement you made, as large as it is, will still be gone, but the tub will still be there.

Another person may come in and stick their hand in the same place you had your hand, even.


I know. I once logged off the forum for over three weeks. Not a single soul noticed over here... (granted, I was on vacation and travelling, and nope - I did not think about the forum, and yes I had over 6,500 posts to scan thru when I came back...)

This doesn't bother me - I've come and gone through many discussion boards and forums as my interests change through my life. I've seen them grow (corvetteforum, digitalcorvettes, saturnfans, gmi) and I've seen them crash (... whew, where do I start? How 'bout kappacars, or the plural forum, or cheers and gears, or the canon forum I used to belong to but is no more, or the waxing and waning of the handful of Impala forums, or the myriad of dead bodies in animation, graphics and arts forums, pumpkin-growing, electric-car hobby forums, fiero fiascos, and a thousand other forums that never made it).

It REALLY pisses off some, though. We've had people try their darndest to sabotage, spam, DOS attack, hack, or have the forum or the hosting company shut down the forum. I think of this as the people who are SO pissed at not having anyone notice they have removed their hand (or were forced to remove their hand) that they would rather try and overturn the WHOLE tub.



This place is a voluntary participation forum. People enjoy it - but one thing I've learned... actually two things:

1) to participate on a forum, you gotta have a thick skin. One of the four promises you should make yourself in life is "DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY:
What others do is not because of you. What they say and do is a manifestation of their own ideas and perceptions. When you don't focus on the words and behavior of others, you won't become a victim of their actions. "

and

2) anonymity of the internet REALLY gives people a license to reduce their normal social inhibitions.

Hence the reason you should make and keep the promise from #1 above.



For interest, the other promises:
Be Trustworthy
Be faithful to your word based on truth and passion. Directly express what you want. Avoid gossiping.
Don't Take Anything Personally
What others do is not because of you. What they say and do is a manifestation of their own ideas and perceptions. When you don't focus on the words and behavior of others, you won't become a victim of their actions.
Don't Make Assumptions
Encourage yourself to ask questions and express what you really want. In order to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings, mistakes and wasted time. Clear communication is essential. Avoiding assumptions enhances interpersonal communication, leading to better results in your professional and personal life.
Always Do Your Best
Peak performance is ever-changing. When you allow yourself to grow and change positions, your performance grows and shifts accordingly. A commitment to always putting your best foot forward will leave you with no regrets or missed opportunities.

Breakdowns in any of these promises to yourself simply leads to other problems: for example - taking things personally leads to a breakdown in communication. Without clear communications, and ESPECIALLY lacking the other 60% of non-verbal communication that you don't get on an internet forum, then you NECESSARILY break the next promise - you can't communicate, so you begin to assume other people's positions... and you can get the thread off-topic spiral, (better case) or an all out flame war (worst case when instead of degenerating, the discusssion becomes post-after-post of inflammatory accusations and comments).


This place is a forum - I've had people call me all kinds of names, even wishing me ill fortune, death, wishing I would leave the forum (or solsticeforum, for that matter), or express that I must have no loved ones at all, either in public or in PM. Whether because I acted, or failed to act, or failed to act in their estimation of the 'right' direction, or action in what they considered to be 'wrong' action...

It's an analogy for real life. It IS NOT REAL LIFE. Think of it as a party - come and go as you please, participate in the disucssions, or just listen in, or pick at the buffet table or the punchbowl. Exchange war stories, or ask for help with your car. We admins and moderators are simply extensions of the FUNCTIONS that help make the party run -rick112, SKY Spy, Robotech, Rick Tinley Park, cerberus do dishes in the back and pour beer and make the food, occasionally I talk to more unruly partygoers, brentil arranges the furniture and makes sure the lights and audio still works... but all while still participating in the party...


Not everyone can be happy - but we CAN all try and not take things personally, and try and at least get along...

JM

[Skip]

Well said KappaMan....Skip...

[spunkie]

Thank you, Kappa Man.

Shirley

[1Man1Sky]

The deletion of the account is their final statement...sort of having the last word.

Its a real shame that people tainted this thread that started with Skip's unbiased, harmonic words, by bringing in their petty differences...differences that were already stated in other threads. And now, I have added to the stench with this post.

When will you guys let it go? Some of you are repeating yourselves. Do you feel unheard? Trust me, you've been heard, loud and clear.

Now, everyone should go back, read Skip's origanl post in this thread and reflect on it...without airing your dirty laundry or negative observations ...because, we've already heard it...

[ihawk95]

Originally Posted by Skip

Well said KappaMan....Skip...

Very well put Kappaman. Enjoy the party y'all. Cause that's what I'm doing! And if you can't enjoy the party...either go home or stay out of the kitchen! Not enjoying this particular room any longer so I'm mingling elsewhere. Call me back in when it's a bit more fun again!

[Skip]

Now little darlin yall know that this is still a fun thread. It all depends on the meaning of fun. And no I am not going to start up something. I will just state my views. As my dad said many times to me ---EACH MAN TO HIS OWN TASTE SAID THE FARMER WHEN HE KISSED THE COW---.It was true 20 years ago as it is relevant now. Did yall know that we as a forum have over 7000 members? And then take in account how many actually post on this forum. Did you know that there are at any time more GUESTS on this forum than forum members? Everytime I come on this site I make it a habit to see how many members verses GUESTS are present. It is just one of those things I have done since day one...Skip..Yeppers, I am the resident redneck and birthday greeter....and proud of it ....

[HiredGun]

Originally Posted by RMFNSKY

It's just a Message Board

I agree!

I feel like I have walked into a bar after a brawl. Just give me a drink. I really don't care what the hell happened to small minded people. I go to a bar to drink. I came here for information about the Sky.

[Skip]

Did yall know that when all hell breaks loose on this forum the amount of Guests goes up? Look some time when it happens....Skip...

[hdwizard]

ILTW

[jnag698]

Well said.

And I don't even know what the hell you all are talking about.

[ihawk95]

Originally Posted by Skip

Now little darlin yall know that this is still a fun thread. It all depends on the meaning of fun. And no I am not going to start up something. I will just state my views. As my dad said many times to me ---EACH MAN TO HIS OWN TASTE SAID THE FARMER WHEN HE KISSED THE COW---.It was true 20 years ago as it is relevant now. Did yall know that we as a forum have over 7000 members? And then take in account how many actually post on this forum. Did you know that there are at any time more GUESTS on this forum than forum members? Everytime I come on this site I make it a habit to see how many members verses GUESTS are present. It is just one of those things I have done since day one...Skip..Yeppers, I am the resident redneck and birthday greeter....and proud of it ....

Oh I don't mind when all hell breaks loose. Makes things more interesting provided it doesn't go way far south and it usually does unfortunately. But usually when things do get out of hand, someone starts up about leaving the forum and then we all come out and talk them out of it. That's no fun for me anymore. I'm tired of it.

Dang it Skip...I wasn't going to jump in here, but now you got me. Pretty sure I said this before a long time ago...no one should leave the forum because of a single bad experience with 1 or 2 members. Like you said, there are over 7000 members and plenty of guests. Many of them great people on and off the forum. If you're here for the car info only, then stay out of the social threads. You can recognize them pretty dang quick so I can't buy that excuse anymore. And I'll admit, some of the car info threads turn social, but you can recognize when that happens rather quickly as well. To me, it's getting about ridiculous to say you want your account deleted or you're never coming back, etc. If you can't recognize there are a ton of great people on this and the Solstice forum and 1 bad experience ruins the entire forum experience for ya, then hey...be on your merry way then. You and I may not make good running buddies at an event then anyway! Cause I'm all about the fun and you would probably take me the wrong way completely! Several bad experiences I can see then...but then maybe you should ask "why am I being picked on?" Am I doing something to make myself a target? Why are people taking me the wrong way? Heck, maybe even ask the forum what we think in that case. Cause we'll tell ya! We're a lively group!

I've always said I'm not a fan of personal attacks. I understand things get out of hand or are sometimes taken the wrong way. I've also said before I'm not a fan of making PM's public. Isn't it called a Private Message for a reason? If it was supposed to be public, it would have been posted for everyone to view in the first place.

Personally, I've never had a problem on the forum. Had a couple of people poking at me a little cause they took me too seriously or were just in a mood to try to 1-up someone but nothing that I'd ever take personally. Maybe I live in a fantasy world cause I'd like to think if I were to meet you in person, your personality would be similiar to the one you have on the forum. And for the most part...I haven't been disappointed. I also try to act the same on the forum as I would in real life. I really do jump up and down when I'm really excited! I really do call out "cows" and "corn" on the radio on a run just to break things up. I somehow ended up with the GWG nickname and I'm happy to run with it just to be funny. I'd love to meet as many forum members as possible cause we are like one big family. And we all know family doesn't always get along all of the time.

I hate when I get long winded cause I talk too much as it is. This post was about ridiculous which is why I didn't want to bring it up again in the first place. For me...this subject is getting old cause it's come up a lot lately. Maybe we need a newbie to start stirring up the pot to keep it interesting?

[icarus]

*just nodding at all that folks are saying*


I've got an extra shaker just chock full of "grains of salt" if anybody periodically needs to take them!


*and realizing that most of the time I'm only a lurker...but an observant one*

[roadsterrage]

There's a buffet and a punchbowl???????? Where?????? Nobody told me about that.

[SkyMan 08]

Originally Posted by ihawk95

I hate when I get long winded cause I talk too much as it is. This post was about ridiculous which is why I didn't want to bring it up again in the first place. For me...this subject is getting old cause it's come up a lot lately. Maybe we need a newbie to start stirring up the pot to keep it interesting?

I was reading this post and for some reason I...

PS I agree with everything you said...

[ihawk95]

Shakers of salt? For beer, wounds, or margaritas?

If we're talking beer and margaritas...at em!!!

[ihawk95]

Originally Posted by SkyMan 08

I was reading this post and for some reason I...

PS I agree with everything you said...

Thanks...I'm done.

"may be my shortest post ever"

[Skip]

Originally Posted by roadsterrage

There's a buffet and a punchbowl???????? Where?????? Nobody told me about that.

They picked all that up about two hours ago...Skip....