I have to charge my battery about once every 3 to 4 weeks if I keep the battery connected, but don't drive the car.....like when working on it for an extended period of time.

 

How old is the battery you're trying to charge?
No fuses blown? All grounding points free of corrosion?
There are ways to get the key out of the slot & move the shift lever.
Under the steering wheel should be an access panel/plate.
You can release the key from there. There is a procedure for this here on the forum iirc.
The shift lever- remove chrome panel around shift lever, should be a lever to pull up, then
move the shifter forward to park. I used this when my battery went dead last summer.
Showed the tow truck driver how it was done, he had no clue how.
I got the info from here- so.. it must be true and it did work.
Belt good on the alternator? No slippage? Are all of the cables in good order?

LAC

 

How old is the battery you're trying to charge?
No fuses blown? All grounding points free of corrosion?
There are ways to get the key out of the slot & move the shift lever.
Under the steering wheel should be an access panel/plate.
You can release the key from there. There is a procedure for this here on the forum iirc.
The shift lever- remove chrome panel around shift lever, should be a lever to pull up, then
move the shifter forward to park. I used this when my battery went dead last summer.
Showed the tow truck driver how it was done, he had no clue how.
I got the info from here- so.. it must be true and it did work.
Belt good on the alternator? No slippage? Are all of the cables in good order?

LAC

Battery isn't 2 years old.
No belt slippage and cables look clean and good, even terminals on battery.
No blown fuses.
Tried to start car and when it wouldn't even click tried to remove key. Can only get as far as the first detent (ACC?). Electric lockout?
Car is in Park with parking brake on.
My wife's Toyota had a little "pop-out" by the shift lever (automatic) that one would remove and then depress a tab in the hole to get the shifter free.
Car was sitting under car cover since early December.
The GRND tab by the jumper / fuse box was painted over so I've connected the ground on the charger to the A/C bracket bolt.
Did pull a mouse nest out from under the plastic intake cover.

Once I get Skyler running, tuned, and lubed I think I'll put him on the block. 2008 black Redline w/Kenwood audio.

 

Never heard of not being able to remove the key when the battery is dead. Is that some kind of automatic transmission thing? As if there wasn't enough to hate about automatic transmissions.

 

How long has "Skyler" been sitting? I see you have a Kenwood deck too. So here's the thing with new cars today. If your car sits for 2-3 weeks with the factory radio equipment, it will go into what's known as "sleep mode". In other words, after xx hours of inactivity (no touching it...no doors opening/closing, no key fob presses, etc) the relays will all eventually turn themselves off. Cadillac created this back in the mid 90s and they actually had a button that the owner would press to put his car to "sleep" for long periods. It took the car several hours to do this then, but it took it almost as long to wake back up. (Yes, check me on this...type in Google "Cadillac sleep mode") Automakers have come to the point where now, as long as you don't touch the cars for xx hours, they will go to sleep automatically, but will wake all of the relays back up in a heartbeat if you touch it. The final relay to turn off in our cars is the radio clock. This can be seen when you pull your car out of storage (if you haven't touched it and you've left the battery hooked up) by the "alien writing" on the display for several seconds/minutes. But, you have a Kenwood, so because that isn't a factory radio, that power is constant...so your car, much like mine, never goes to sleep. I strongly suggest that if your car sits days between drives to get a battery switch that you can use to turn the battery on and off.

 

Did pull a mouse nest out from under the plastic intake cover. You too hun?
Yup- the furry invaders will hide under the plastic engine cover. Remove & store it
until new owner is found. Mice nest on your intake could be a problem just saying.
Fire ext. is a good thing to have handy, should an electrical/engine bay fire happen.
My brothers car has had damage done by- chip monk/mouse to his wiring harness.

We have tried many things- even a new one that the wife of my farmer googled up.
I have never heard of this nor do I know for a fact this will work but... try everything.
Deep sided pail of water 1/2 full- sun flower seeds, small ledge with drop off. They see the food.
They go after the food- sun flower seeds. They eat the seeds the seeds expand with water.
Tum Tum goes boom in chip monk/ mouse. After ingestion of the seeds, then he can't climb
out of the deep sided bucket of water and gets tired of treating water- eventually dying in
the process. Red Pepper, whole black pepper corns, Animal Be Gone-jalapeno spray, moth balls,
poison bait/different types, traps- glue/mechanical, even cleaning the engine bay/under carriage
with stinky chemicals, plus- this was an odd one too- dog poop under the car.
Yes I know sounds weird as hell but it has helped to keep away the furry invaders to his wiring harness.

Whatever works for you. Cheaper than repairing your wiring harness.
Electrical repairs due to animal infestation is a big and profitable problem for repair shops.
No start when turning the key. Hmmm might need a diagnostic test of the system to find a
fault if there are no other signs of failure to the system. Could be a simple thing then again
it could be major. 2 year old battery " should " last longer but- my last one only lasted 4 years
to the day I bought it. Dead as a door nail, no jumping or recharging was gonna bring it back.
Unless there is a parasitic drain to the battery- unhook battery terminal when not in regular use.

LAC

 

Master, it's alive. IT'S ALIVE, I TELL YOU! After my wife rescued our jumpers from our daughter, I hooked up our Lincoln MKZ to our RedLine. I actually had more trouble hooking up the MKZ than the Sky. I had to remove the puny retaining bracket from the battery and drag it out of its cubby hole. Even then, the negative terminal was still a dog to connect. I guess it was just another example of the engineers deciding to make it as hard as possible to work on your own car.
Any way, I guess my 8 amp charger didn't have the oomph to charge the battery enough to start.

 

Good for you!

My charger has 4, 10, 20, and 40 amp settings along with a "start" mode, but my best jump-start device is a running vehicle and a "good" set of jumper cables.

 

Couple things... first, did you happen to leave your key in the ignition, if so, that will kill the battery quickly. Also, many chargers need at least 3 to 4 amps to begin the charging process. Mine sits for weeks if not months with no issues, but I do have it hooked up to a battery minder, so it's always getting a bit of juice as the battery needs it.

This is what I use, $20, but still cheaper than a new battery: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0051D3MP6/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?

 

............. Also, many chargers need at least 3 to 4 amps to begin the charging process. ........

I think you mean 3-4 Volts.

 

Years ago my friend had a triumph whose battery kept discharging. Turns out the plate the battery sat on was rusted which somehow cause the battery to drain.